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Drunk As Fuck

drinking the pain away

even though everything is going great 

i still hate myself

i want more and more and more

never satisfied.

i guess i just like ruining everything around me.

Today was a good day ,

Went to the movies with him and talked about raunchy stuff

Like always.

2013

A new year for me , A new me

It might be a little hard to say

But I have to admit , I finally found joy

And it’s him.

He’s my everything my rock , my diamond , my gold.

I never believed in true and sincere love , he changed that for me.

He makes everyday worth living,

I love him in a way that can’t be explained.

Thank you bay <3….

I feel so alone,

It’s like everything around me just disappeared.

All I’ve got is you …But you seem to be at a distance I can not reach.

I guess the saying is true,

You come alone on this Earth, You leave it all alone also.

Did I find true happiness , only time will tell.
All I know is that I’m enjoying this feeling.
Who would’ve tought that the person I was looking for was always there,
Right by my side.

I just started doing something pretty original (I guess..) : Basically , I play any classical song and during the whole time I write down whatever goes trough my mind without stopping or thinking.I call it inspirational writing , I believe that classical music is the most beautiful thing in the world.It captures all the subtleties of life and demonstrates it in diverse ways.

So here’s my first attempt with : Moonlight Sonata by Ludwig van Beethoven

A wave a darkness surrounded the deepness of my soul , as I was trapped in this puzzle of pain and lost thoughts I tried to gasp for air as I plunged into eternity where the lost souls ventured with no knowledge no beliefs no restraints. I couldn’t see a peek in front of my bloody eyes, weakened by the light that wasn’t there, I was a bird, a lonely bird trapped in this cage we called life. It was a sordid place where no one but the spirits ,the hollow spirits of criminal minds ventured , but I strong as a white bull fighting its enemies I decided to penetrate in this hell hole , never to be found again. I sunk into this deepness, this madness. I lathered, covered my body with this sensational feeling as I was falling, deeply falling in nothingness, only to come face to face with myself. Again trapped, in this body, this wreck. An oily cadaver, meant to be dead.

P.S : I didn’t correct anything , so don’t mind if the sentences are written in incorrect forms.

Currently re-reading my first Tumblr posts , I seemed so depressed and mad.
I have to give a round of applause to “writing” for always being there when I needed it.
To all the people who feel the need to express something ( usually rage , sadness..c’mon who writes about happiness these days) please result to writing it somewhere. It feels delightful and when you start , you can’t stop.